School starts tomorrow. Back to homework. I've heard you forget up to 75% of what you learned during school over the summer. I don't trust statistics that end in the number 5, but that sounds like a decent rough estimate. But some of what you learn in school is so trivial, it deserves to be replaced with the more valueable lessons you learn from real life. Here's what I learned over my summer vacation:
1. Nasturtium leaves are edible and taste like radishes.
2. I am incapable of mass producing blog posts.
3. I've been pronouncing the word 'inventory' wrong all these years.
4. Anything that seems original is most likely a parody.
5. The average lifeguard can't name the founder of the Red Cross.
6. The nine year old standing next to him can because she did a report on Clara Barton.
7. Fire on the Mountain by Edward Abbey is the most boring, pointless, required reading book ever.
8. Night by Elie Wiesel is actually really good.
9. Listening to 'Wake Me Up Before You Go Go' at night will not help you fall asleep.
And, most importantly:
10. Don't start off a movie marathon with The Fellowship of the Rings: Special Extended Edition. Especially when none of you have read the books.
With these crucial lessons, who needs school?