Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Research Fail

I've seen some pretty skewered statistics. 1 out of 3 American teenagers are obese. 25% of us can't locate our country on a map. The average teenager spends 30 hours a week watching TV.
And then I see this.

It's called proofreading. It works. 

Monday, February 25, 2013

The Original iPod Stroller

One day in first grade, I was walking home from the bus stop when I saw a kindergartener with a portable CD player. A kindergartener. Carrying what was supposed to be a big kid toy.
I was born in 1996. I didn't use the Internet until I was seven. I got my first iPod at ten and phone at fifteen. Aside from the phone, I never felt technologically deprived.
Now it's 2013. My nine year old brother had a 'game day' at school. Five kids brought iPads. Seven more had mini tablets. And my brother had I board game.
Sometimes I go to Target and see mothers entertaining their children with Angry Birds as they push them around in shopping carts. These infants know how to work an iPhone before their first birthday. And there are the kids who actually own iPods at the age of five. 
And you wonder why your kid knows more about technology than you do.
I like technology. Otherwise I'd be scribbling these thoughts to myself on notebook paper. But sometimes I feel like it's moving too fast. I mean, do we really need specialized iPhone holders? For babies? Exactly how many of those have been sold? You could probably buy the case, leave it empty, and your kid would have just as much fun.
Then I found this.

The year is 1921. The thing attached to the stroller is a radio antenna. As for the things inside the stroller...I'm not entirely sure those are humans. Maybe the woman just likes to read in front of her house while her dolls listen to music.
But the stroller can be used with real babies. And a radio is the 1921 equivalent of an iPod. So the changes that have been bothering me? Not exactly new.
A lot of things change.

A lot of things don't.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Invisible Underlings

Every year our school holds a Spirit Bowl. And every year the seniors win. Every. Single. Year. Naturally people started to suspect something was up, so at this year's assembly the SBOs specifically announced that "It's not rigged."
But nobody told the seniors. In the hallway by the auditorium is a huge black poster reading 'Seniors: The Odds Are In Our Favor.'
Yep, Hunger Games theme. The teachers are the Capitol and each grade gets the district corresponding to their number. So the seniors are District 12, everybody's favorite underdogs, juniors get eleven, home of Rue and Thresh. And the sophomores are left with ten, home of...uh...
But I'm not going to complain about the numbers, it's just bad luck. What really bugged me is the mock Reaping they had on Tuesday. Everybody who dressed up nicely that day got a single point for their District. Then they got to put a paper with their name and grade in a bowl and got a piece of candy in return. If your name gets pulled, your district looses fifteen points. It's a gamble, but hey, free candy.
When they read off the names, more than half were sophomores, with seniors having the least. Two days later, we had the actual event.
Guess who won.
Guess who came in last.
In school plays, seniors will get all the leads, while sophomores with just as much experience are demoted to the ensemble. You'll never see a sophomore presiding over a club as an officer.
I know the playing field's not level. Everybody does. But could they at least acknowledge that it isn't?