Saturday, January 7, 2012

Snobby vs. Obnoxious

Last night, my friend Esme and I went to the Jazz vs. Grizzlies basketball game. It was a pretty good game, the Jazz were losing at a steady pace until the second half, when they pulled ahead by eighteen points. However, we were sitting in front of two obnoxious guys. They were in their fourties or late thirties and had piercings and weird goatees. They enjoyed loudly dissing both teams, talking about the advantages of having older players, beer, the cheerleaders' outfits and adjustments they thought should be made, the best places to smoke something I think might be another name for marijuana, and how weird and quick the season was going. Yeah, it's called a lockout. Have you looked at the news in the past few months?
Generally, they were being annoying and I wanted them to shut up. So when one of them swore again, I told him, "Watch it, there are children in this audience."
Unfortunatley, they both developed hearing problems and short term memory loss at that moment. They were unable to hear me and didn't know what they'd just said. They apologized condensendingly "if we said something that offended you" and asked if I was underage. I didn't know what age they were refering to. Twenty-one? Eighteen? Sixteen?
They left too quickly for me to take a picture of them and post it for their wives or mothers to find. As they were leaving, one of them had a beer chugging contest with himself and the other one talked on his phone. It went like this: "Yeah, we were like, sitting behind these, like, snobby teenagers who were like, all offended by the way I like, speak."
Snobby? I can see where he's coming from, but at least we know the basics of grammar and the like.
So if any of you readers have ugly and obnoxious sons or husbands who went to the game last night and sat in row 15 of section 123, ask them just what they said about the cheerleaders.

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