We had a lesson on dating in church yesteday. We covered all the basics-"How far is too far with a guy?" and "What are some fun, inexpensive things you can do on a date?" Then we got to the question that bothered me. "What do you do if a guy's making suggestions you don't feel comfortable with?"
My church leader's answer: Pretend your phone is ringing, pick it up, dial your parents, and use your pre-planned code phrase for "This is getting out of hand and you need to pick me up." Then, for your date's benefit, say, "Oh, that's tonight, Mom? I need to come home? But we're having fun...okay...if you say so. Yeah, I'll be waiting for you. Bye."
Complications, complications. If a guy wants to go too far, I'm telling him no. Short and sweet and simple. I don't care about offending Mr. Grabby Hands. He offended me, I'm just returning the favor.
If he's not in the mood to hear a no? Then my safety is in danger and I'm not in the mood to toss around code phrases.
In elementary school, our DARE officer told us the best answer when offered drugs: "No thanks, dude. My parents would kill me." He said to us, "Your parents won't mind if you use them as an excuse."
Screw what my parents think. I don't want to be a pothead. It's my body being damaged, not theirs, so I'll give the dude my own answer.
Movie reviews come with "parent content advisories". Not "child content advisory" or the age free "moral content advisory", though I occasionally see "content advisory" with the adjectives chopped off. Again, I don't care what my parents think. The child is the viewer we're worried about, right? Why not come out and say it?
I don't like this idea that teenagers are edgy, promiscuous creatures who need parents to bridle their passions for them instead of doing the bridling themselves. I don't like this idea that each and every one of us is a high school dropout, an unwed mother, a drug addict ready to happen. That's a stereotype we actively defy everyday.
I have standards. Those standards were taught to me by my parents, but they're mine, mine, mine. Treat me like a creature that can think and reason and say no.