Saturday, August 3, 2013

Your Fictional Life

Have you ever looked around and wondered if your life is actually a poorly written, tween directed, teen featuring sitcom? This should help you figure it out.

1. Your bell makes a BRRRRR-IIIIIIIIIIING sound.
2. Your teacher has glasses and does her hair in a bun.
3. Your teacher starts every period with the phrase, "Today, class,"
4. All your classes last approximately three minutes.
5. You still have blackboards.
6. You spend most of your life in front of your locker (Eight classes X three minutes? I don't see a problem here).

7. You spend a good portion of your life stuffed into your locker. Hey, it's roomy enough.

8. When you're not in the hall, you've been called down to the principal's office.
9. Your principal is a fat little bald man in a sweaty suit.
10. You don't need to worry about him because you never get caught.
11. And if you do, you're back to school the next day with no problems.
12. Your gym teacher is a huge, sweaty bald man with a whistle that goes BRRRRREEEEPPP!
13. When you're not either of these places, you're in the lunchroom.
14. All your meals consist of mystery meat and tuna surprise.

15.If you're a boy, you're being pushed around by the football team.
16. If you're a girl, you're being pushed around by the cheer squad.

17. They wear their uniforms complete with pom poms on non game days.
18. It's ALWAYS football season.
19. Your school has no apparent dress code.

20. Your lunch room has about twelve people in it.
21. All your best friends sit at the same table. You all have the same lunch, of course. Have you seen those class sizes?
22. You never age and you have less than five fingers on each hand.
23. You should be too old to pass as a sixteen year old.

Remember that episode when Jackson and Miley dated? The actor, Jason Earles, was twenty nine. And she'd just barely turned fourteen. That's Hollywood age for you.

24. Your teachers chirp but never talk and you never stand next to them when you talk.

I wish I had a teacher like this.
25. You can cut class with no consequences.

26. You've gotten an A+ on an assignment.
27. You haven't heard a decent joke in months.
28. You have a character friend who exists to make horrible jokes.
29. You parents are completely clueless and you get away with everything.
30.  Look to your left. Is there's a Mickey Mouse head floating in the corner?

1 comment:

  1. I loved "less than five fingers on each hand" part. Nice ending with the logo! A perfect wrap up after all those laughs. Thank you for posting this! :D