How to Talk About School: For Teens

     "How was school today?"
     You've heard this phrase almost every day of your life since kindergarten. Chances are, your sick of it. What are you supposed to say beyond "Okay"? Here are a few tips I've picked up.
Three Things Not to Do:
1: Don't brush your parents off. They're asking because they care, and they can help you with problems if you let them  know. This also helps them understand your world better.
2: Don't blab on and on and on. And on. Sure, it's important to you that Abby is ignoring Becky because she's friends with Caitlin now even thought she hasn't talked to Madison after she broke up with Jason when she saw him talking to Hailey. But their eyes will start to glaze over.
3: Don't open with the negative. If you walk into the house and say,"My language arts teacher doesn't have a soul," or "I hate Cathy, I don't know why we were ever friends," their first impulse is to correct you. That sort of stuff is best told to friends or journals.
Three Things to Do:
1: Listen. Your parents want to have a conversation, not stand there and be fed information.
2: Be specific. Admit it, your school day was more than fine/okay/good.
3: It may help to plan ahead, so you're not racking your brain trying to come up with something interesting.

     Also, if you have something you really need to talk to a parent about, make sure they're not busy. Use a calm voice, don't shout or mess around with tones. Make eye contact and explain everything clearly.

Updates on James Tate

     I tried to post yesterday, but blogspot has been having a few technical difficulties. Anyways, I found out more about James Tate, the senior banned from prom for taping cardboard letters to the side of the school that spelled out a question to his girlfriend.
Though school officials say Tate "risked his life" climbing up on a ladder to do this, he actually took several precautions. He brought along two friends, also banned, to help hold the ladder and pass up the letters. He even wore a helmet. How many professional house painters do you see taking these precautions?  Yes, Tate certainly put safety first.
     Also, Tate isn't the Connecticut first student to be banned from prom for petty reasons. In 2008, Kadijah Ketchum of Hamden High School was suspended and banned for running in the halls. Really? If this were widely practiced, there wouldn't be enough students left to fill the school. Your locker is on one side of the school. Third period is on the other side. You have three minutes to get to class. What do you have to do?
     With the help of lawyer Tamarah Evanko, who has also offered her services to Tate, Ketchum was eventually able to go back to prom, though her lawyer had to accompany her.
     But what bugs me is that the school was able to do this in the first place. Teachers and parents get to decide how the school is run, but ultimately, school is not for the parents or teachers. School is for the students.
     School reminds me of the feudal system. The Board is the King, the district is a duke, the principal is a count, teachers are the lords, and the students themselves are the little peasants tolling away with no voice whatsoever.
     Sure, lots of school have little mock groups set up, like student body officers. But how many school even let these representatives make decisions? The SBO's, as they're called at my school, just organize assemblies and fundraisers. All the little jobs the administration is too busy to take care of.
     Really, without us the school could not exist. It's our school, so we should be able to influence how it's run.

Stupid and Unusual Punishment

     
     You've heard countless stories of creative ways high school boys asking a special girl out to prom. Some write songs or wrap. Some post videos on youtube. James Tate of Shelton High School, Connecticut, had his own technique. He climbed a ladder and taped cardboard letters onto the front of the school letter spelling out
"SONALI RODRIGUES WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME?"
    Though Sonali said yes, the couple was banned from prom. Apparently, Tate was banned from prom for trespassing and "risking his life" climbing up on a ladder.
     Excuse me? I can think of a hundred more dangerous things to do than climbing a ladder on school property. A second grader  jumping off a swing on a monitored playground would be more at risk than Tate was. Trespassing? I've personally seen two girls "trespass" on school grounds, wave to a teacher, and go on their merry way. Oh, and they were endangering their lives, too. They were standing under a tree. What would we have done if a pinecone had fallen down, hit one of the girls on the head, knocked her into her friend, and killed them both? Standing under trees is very risky business.
     It wasn't as if Tate was vandalizing the school. He used tape, not spray paint. Give him a punishment that fits the crime, like a 1,000 word essay. Besides, has anybody thought about poor Sonali? This is their senior year. They should be able to look back on it as a happy experience.   The trouble with school officials is that they too often get caught up in rigid rules and protocol. This is yes another example of the "stupid, reckless teenager" stereotype. There was no damage done. It was a sweet, harmless display of affection.
    I'm not the only person upset. The mayor of Shelton is involved in their case, not to mention a 40,000 person Facebook group. Their story has been featured on Yahoo! news with 2,040 comments. Not a single one thought the punishment was just. Many of these outraged people are teens. It's great to see young people willing to take action for what they feel is intolerable.
     I give the school officials forty-eight hours at the most before Tate is invited back to prom.