How to Talk About School: For Teens

     "How was school today?"
     You've heard this phrase almost every day of your life since kindergarten. Chances are, your sick of it. What are you supposed to say beyond "Okay"? Here are a few tips I've picked up.
Three Things Not to Do:
1: Don't brush your parents off. They're asking because they care, and they can help you with problems if you let them  know. This also helps them understand your world better.
2: Don't blab on and on and on. And on. Sure, it's important to you that Abby is ignoring Becky because she's friends with Caitlin now even thought she hasn't talked to Madison after she broke up with Jason when she saw him talking to Hailey. But their eyes will start to glaze over.
3: Don't open with the negative. If you walk into the house and say,"My language arts teacher doesn't have a soul," or "I hate Cathy, I don't know why we were ever friends," their first impulse is to correct you. That sort of stuff is best told to friends or journals.
Three Things to Do:
1: Listen. Your parents want to have a conversation, not stand there and be fed information.
2: Be specific. Admit it, your school day was more than fine/okay/good.
3: It may help to plan ahead, so you're not racking your brain trying to come up with something interesting.

     Also, if you have something you really need to talk to a parent about, make sure they're not busy. Use a calm voice, don't shout or mess around with tones. Make eye contact and explain everything clearly.

How to Talk About School: For Parents

You: "How was school today?"
Your teenager: "Okay."
Okay? you think. What kind of okay? Did something spectacular happen? Are you really depressed, but you don't want to talk about it? Why is this happening? Shouldn't they be able to talk to you about anything?
Here are a few tips from an "insider" (ooh, I like that. I feel sneaky and professional).
Three Things Not to Do:
1: Don't say "How was school today?" You've said that almost every day for years now, and chances are you always say it in the same tone of voice.
2: Don't ask about assignments or homework. How would you feel if your teenager came home and said, "Did you clean the kitchen today? How well did you clean it?"
3: Don't interrogate. "Who did you sit with at lunch? What did you talk about? Did you feel included? Do you think everybody else felt included? Which class do you have with that one kid again? And is Taylor in that class, too? Have you thought about sitting with Taylor instead? Who does Taylor sit with?"
It's not likely they'll remember that many details. And even if they do, their personal life is personal. You're a parent, not their personal assistant.
Three Things To Do:
1: Show interest. Some teenagers don't talk because they don't think you care about their classes or friend drama. "Was math class hard? How are things with Alex?"
2: Ask questions-don't make it a short, boring How was school/Good/That's good.
3: Remember that it's alright if they don't want to tell you everything. Some things, such as crushes, they feel more comfortable telling journals or friends.

     Also, talk about what's going on in your life. How was your day?

Do Our Opinions Not Matter?

     Dale Price is  being officially  called the World's Most Embarrassing Dad. Each day for the entire school year, he stood outside in a different costume to wave at the school bus carrying his sixteen-year-old son, Rain.
     Suddenly, my parents don't seem that bad anymore.
     I read a newspaper article about Price's antics and how they have gone viral. The reporter interviewed Price and the bus driver, but not Rain or any of the other students on the bus. That seems more than a little strange to me. This is Rain's dad. He's being affected by this more than anybody. Isn't his insight the most important? Had I written this article, I would have interviewed Rain first, then his father, a classmate, his mother, and then the bus driver.
     Sadly, very few adults seem to care about the opinions of young people. We're here, we have our own ideas, and we matter. So why are we never heard?