Children: Not A Toy

I found an article on MSN yesterday about a British mother, Isabella Dutton, who regrets having her kids. Here's a quote:
“My son Stuart was five days old when the realisation hit me like a physical blow: having a child had been the biggest mistake of my life...I felt completely detached from this alien being who had encroached upon my settled married life and changed it, irrevocably, for the worse.”
I'm sure all mothers have that "Crap, what am I supposed to do with this tiny person?" moment. Most of them don't think it's necessary to announce it to the media. This was featured news. I'm pretty sure Stuart's seen it by now. Ouch. Thanks, Mum.
Back in third grade, I got a little alien being of my own. They're called tamagotchis.
 
There's a red sensor on the top. When you touch one tamagotchi's sensor to another, you can get a baby tamagotchi that lives in the same device as yours. And really, that's all it does. They're pixel parasites. Unlike the adult tamagotchi, you can't play games with it (on my version, anyways. I haven't seen the newer ones). It's an accessory. It sits on the screen and looks cute.
Kids aren't tamagotchis. If you put them in the washing machine, they won't come out a little fuzzy but still usable. When you shove a baby in a drawer and forget to feed it for a couple months, there's no reset button. And oh, yeah, they're humans.
They aren't dolls either. They don't exist for you to stuff them into stupid outfits and coo over them.
Owning a tamagotchi could change your life for the worse. Third grade was the year my grandma was hospitalized for skin cancer. My family went to visit her before she went into chemotherapy. Chemo's supposed to make you live longer, so I saw nothing wrong with devoting all my attention to the little screen while Grandma and Mom discussed blood transfusions.
She had a stroke a week later. My last hour with my grandmother was wasted on an alien parasite that lived in a keychain. Biggest mistake of my life? No, I've done stupider things. And I have other, better memories of my grandma. It's called family.
I don't know what Isabella was expecting but she's far from alone. Just be glad she's content to whine about it. 57% of murder victims under the age of five are killed by their own parents. And that's only babies aged 0-5. In the United States alone, the number of fetuses aborted each year outnumbers the casualties in 237 years of military history. Children are no longer a priority in society. We've been shoved onto the back burner by education, careers, and pure laziness. Twenty countries around the world have birth rates at negative or zero. Japan's thirteenth on the list, but hey, they have tamagotchis. They can deal with it.
If you don't think you have what it takes to be a competent parent, do the world a favor and don't reproduce. And please don't pout about it to the media. There are still millions of parents out there who know better than you.

What I Did on Prom Night

I always thought prom was something all high schoolers did. Apparently not. According to the internet, it's supposed to be an upperclassman thing.
Huh. That didn't stop my sophomore friends from going to prom. No, I'm not talking about a sophomore girl tagging along with some generous junior boy. Two sophomores. That's how it works at our school.
Maybe it's because we live in Utah. Home of this:

The LDS church prohibits dating before the age of sixteen and even then we're supposed to go on group dates. That means you need to wait on birthdays for four different people before you can plan anything. Not a lot of dating happens sophomore year. The administration never thought to ban it.
Now, I would love to get on my soapbox here and tell you about what a wonderful time my date and I had tonight and how every sophomore girl is entitled to the same. Unfortunately for my boyfriend, he doesn't exist. But I'm sure he's stunning.
So, regardless of age, I wish you all a happy prom night and good luck finding your (future) date.

Yep Yep Yep

I feel so unqualified to write this post. I have a good life. I grew up with loving parents and a cabinet full of Land Before Time VHS tapes.
This is Ducky. If you're a child of the nineties (or eighties, or whatever we're calling that zero decade) you should remember her.

This is Judith Barsi, the voice behind Ducky in the first movie.
 
She was also Anne-Marie in All Dogs Go to Heaven.
Judith wasn't famous. Aside from The Land Before Time and All Dogs Go to Heaven, most of her work was commercials. Still, at the age of nine she was making over $100,000 a year, enough to buy her family a small house. There were only three of them: Judith, her mom, Maria, and her father, Jozsef.
Jozsef had a rough life. He fled Communist Hungary when he was nineteen, got divorced by his first wife after he threw an iron skillet at her, started drinking, and then met Maria. Judith's career didn't make him happy. He kept drinking and abused both of them.
One night the Barsis invited their neighbors to a party in their new home. The conversation pretty much stayed on Judith the whole time and Jozsef became jealous. He told a guest, "Judith's just a kid and she had more money in the bank than I'll ever see. It makes me sick. Some day I'd like to strangle the little brat."
Before Judith and her mom left for the Bahamas to shoot Jaws: The Revenge, he held a knife against her throat and said, "If you decide not to come back, I will cut your throat."
On July 25, 1988, Judith was asleep in her bed. Jozsef came in with .32 caliber pistol and shot her in the head. Her mom heard the gunshot and came running down the hall. Jozsef shot her, lit the house on fire, and then shot himself.
Judith and Maria were buried in unmarked graves. It was another sixteen years before her fan club raised money to buy them tombstones.


Like I said, I feel so unqualified to write this post. I thought I'd start off with some numb statistics. You don't care that 3.6 million cases of child abuse are reported each year. They're numbers too big to grasp. Unless you know someone living through this, it's not your problem.
Then I remembered Judith. I hope this one story can reach you in a way numbers can't.
Abuse is a serious problem. Judith is remembered because she's a celebrity, but there are so many others who get forgotten. April is National Child Abuse Month. My challenge to you is to reach out to anyone who looks like they're having a rough time. Especially the children. Sometimes all they need is a friendly voice, a pat on the shoulder, a reminder that someone cares. Never underestimate the power of your own words.

"And whosoever shall offend one of [these] little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea."

-Mark 9:42

I Could Think Up A Better Name for this Post But I'm too Busy Waiting for My Physics Homework to Do Itself

Yes, I realize this post is completely irrelevant. But it did allow me to procrastinate several more important things I could've done.

Behold, my face.

4:00-9:00 P.M.: Lucid
You sit in front of your computer, or book, or worksheet, and focus all your attention on it. You'll talk to people in the room and listen to music or the TV in the background, but for the most part you're pretty quiet.
9:00-10:00 P.M.:
Your attention wavers. You sign along to your background music and click on interesting links, but you still manage to get a lot done.
10:00-11:00 P.M.:
Start humming softly to yourself.
11:00 P.M.-12:00 A.M.:
Experiment with your tongue and see what kinds of interesting sounds you can make with it. Pull your knees up to your chest and rock back and forth.
12:00-12:15 A.M. Time to stop messing around. You attempt to get some actual work done.
12:15-12:16 A.M.: This isn't working, is it? You shut off the computer and crawl into bed.
6:30 A.M-7:00 A.M.: Drag body out of bed. Pull clothes from hamper. Shove Pop-tart inside mouth.
Go to school.
3:00-4:00 P.M.: Come home. Repeat.

The Children

Here's a comment my friend Britney Johnson shared on facebook:

"Marriage is between a MAN and a WOMAN. It is impossible to have children any other way. I feel bad for all the children out there who aren't getting included in this. It is effecting THEIR lives MOST OF ALL, yet, they get no say. All people care about are ADULT rights, no one even seems to care about the CHILDREN."

Way to go, Britney. Couldn't have said it better myself.


 

SBO President Fights Back

I don't know about your school, but at mine, the student body officers have no power. Their primary function is making posters and organizing assemblies. They're more of a pep squad than anything. But at Horace Greeley High School in New York, one student council president is tired of being a puppet. When the administration decided to cancel the Greeley Games-a sort of field day/school spirit war-he responded with this open letter. Any formatting errors are my own.

     Who Took My Greeley?

     I was very disappointed to hear yesterday that the Greeley Games event that I proposed is not going to happen. Quite frankly, I’m not at all surprised, as this seems to be par for the course these days. It has gotten to the point where every single member of the Student Council is disappointed with the way the administration is trying to dismantle the very things that had made Greeley great for so long.

We have lost our motivation to try to engage the students, generate enthusiasm and a sense of community and make being a Greeley student more than capitulating to the arbitrary decisions of the administration. Why bother working on proposals and trying to innovate when we know the administration is going to say no? It’s funny that we are all so frustrated with our elected officials in Washington, yet the same thing is happening right here. Each time a new idea comes to the floor, we’re getting filibustered, then left to take the blame for not taking action.

It’s really sad to see how significantly Greeley has declined over the past four years, from the exercise in political correctness gone mad re: the funball team name debacle to the arbitrary and ridiculous hoops that need to be jumped through to bring in a speaker, to the fact that a group was told they can’t sell hot chocolate in the morning for charity because it’s “too dangerous.”

I don’t feel as if I’m doing even half the job I ran for as President and the reason for that is the administration. For us, high school is more than just getting into college. It’s supposed to be an experience that matures us not just intellectually, but in other ways too. How can we do that when the only thing we are assured of is the academic aspects—and those aren’t so great anymore either? Eliza Note: Yes! Yes! Yes! He's brought out everything I've ever wanted to say to the administration in those few sentences. This school has become so resistant to positive new ideas that students actually care about and so concerned with the possibility of political incorrectness that nothing even has a chance. For example, how do we know that the event I proposed would have an attendance problem if it’s never happened before?

     When I sat down with Mr. Rhodes and Mr. Corsilia in the beginning of the school year, I saw the potential to reignite at least some of the fire that I know Greeley used to have. I now know how wrong I was in thinking that. I know that interest in participating in Student Council is in rapid decline and I wouldn’t be surprised if next year’s group has trouble filling all of the positions, another sign that the administration is failing to provide space for a meaningful high school experience.

     People simply don’t want to deal with working hard and formulating new ideas only to be shot down. You are denying leadership opportunities to the next generation of leaders by rendering those who do want to lead utterly ineffective. It has become simply not worth my time, either, to think of fun, creative ways to bring the school community together when I know that there is no chance of any of our ideas actually coming to fruition. I’m tired of being asked, “When are we going to have a school wide event?” or “When is something fun going to happen?” and not having an answer. Eliza note: Especially because that's all they do. From this day forward, I am going to tell anyone who asks that the administration won’t let it happen. I don’t want the students who elected me to think I don’t care and haven’t been trying mightily to bring this school back to its former greatness.

     I am deeply disappointed in the administration for not recognizing that the Greeley we all love is slipping away because they are afraid of innovation and trying something new. The other members of the Student Council feel the same way and share my disappointment in their decisions. I’ve spoken to many former Greeley students recently, some who graduated last year, some who graduated ten years ago, and to some who were Student Council members themselves.  They are amazed that the Greeley they knew and loved bears no resemblance to the one I am graduating from in just a few months.

This school has gone from a place of which I was proud to be President to a place that I can’t wait to leave. If it is your long-term plan to oversee a community of grade-obsessed, one dimensional, disinterested students then continue to do what you are doing. If you want a vibrant, engaged community of students who participate in their education more fully, then you need to reexamine how you interact with us. Less police state and PC paranoia and more positivity would help. Just today, I heard of two new issues that are all of a sudden problems in the eyes of the administration. I’ve been told that the beloved Greeley a capella groups have to meet with you because the fact that they rehearse off-campus is a problem. Why? Why do they have to change how they operate if they are successful as they are now? Isn’t this discouraging the independence that you encourage us to develop throughout high school? Eliza note: Independence? Why would they want that? And now you want to change the traditional trip to Jones Beach for seniors? You have already dismantled quite a few senior traditions. Can you leave just one alone?

     I feel compelled to write this as the elected representative of the student body, a position that I will continue to take very seriously until my term is up. I will continue to plan the events that are already on the calendar and I will continue to fulfill my responsibility of addressing the school at the coming assemblies and ultimately graduation, but I promise nothing more.

     The next time you need someone to represent Greeley, whether it be to a group of students from another country or one new student who will be joining this so-called community next year, find someone else. I don’t feel as though I can lend my time to your causes, if mine are not taken seriously. To summarize, we’ve all had enough of the arbitrary decisions. The Theatre Company just put on a play about sex (and a very good one might I add) without being questioned, and yet a song for the a capella concert was questioned because it included the word “bullet” and referenced guns. Can you explain that inconsistency? I can’t.

I wish you an uneventful rest of the school year. 

Sincerely,

Tim Bloom

Student Council President 2012-2013


I have one thing to say to this: Ha! 
Brilliant.Way to do your job, Mr. Bloom. 

AP Will Ruin Your Life

College credit while in high school! What could be wrong with that? I've only taken two AP classes-human geography and European history-but I feel obliged to warn you.
1. Any facts you learn will be seared into your mind forever.
Want to know about self determination? Neo-Malthusian theory? The demographic transition? Cottage industry and the putting out system? How to locate a milkshed using the Burgess model?
No. Of course you don't. But I could tell you about all of them.
2. Your ability to enjoy Disney movies will disappear

"Political equality and equal rights with men!
Take heart! For Missus Pankhurst has been clapped in irons again!
No more the meek and mild subservients we!
We're fighting for our rights, militantly!"
Me at age six: "Ooh, look. Mrs. Banks is singing and dancing while wearing a pretty sash."
Me at age twelve: "Oh, I get it. She's a suffragette."
Me at age fourteen: "Hey, she's singing and dancing with her servants. They're like equals. That's cool."
Me at age sixteen: (After learning who exactly Mrs. Pankhurst is) "So she's spends a lot of offscreen time marching and going on hunger strikes. Militantly indeed. She's probably going to get arrested and force fed at some point. That's going to have a traumatic effect on Jane, who's going to be at odds with her dad and Michael, and Mary Poppins won't be around to keep the peace anymore..."
Now, Jungle Book. I just barely caught on to this one.

Charles Darwin, anyone?

You will see it's true-oo-oo (Shhobeedeeboo)
Someone like me-ee-ee (scoobeedoobeedooweep)
Can learn to be
Like someone like you!
And don't get me started on Anastasia. Not Disney, but still.
3. Nonexistent social life
This one should be self explanatory
4. The Stigma of Being an Insufferable Know-It-All
So school gets out for the summer and I'm on my way to camp. We drive past our local copper mine.
Me: (paraphrased) "Did you know copper is a bulk reducing industry? That means during the refining process, the copper becomes much smaller than it was originally. The finished product is much smaller. Bulk gaining industries, like the beverage industry-"
Friend: "No. Shut up."
So I shut up and curse the curriculum. Later, we pass a train.
Friend: "Why do they still use trains? We have cars and planes nowadays."
Me: "Do you really want to know? Because I could-"
Friend: "No. Shut up."

5. Crushing disappointment
Many colleges aren't even taking AP credit now. Concurrent enrollment is the way to go.